A Day in the Life

6:30 -7:50 AM: Wake up and immediately start researching origins of agriculture in Africa. Read two chapters in various books about this subject. Panic because I need to have a 20 minute presentation on topic done by Wednesday and I haven't started yet.
8:00-10 AM: Read two chapters from my anthropological theory textbook. Fall asleep several times. Wipe drool from textbook. Highlight random stuff. Forget everything I just read.
10:30 AM: Get dressed and eat breakfast. Chew extra slowly so I don't have to go back to studying. Glance at my pants that only have one leg hemmed. Realize I will not be wearing said pants to class.
10:50 AM: Print off questions that I need to answer about aforementioned chapters and the book, The Nuer, for class today. Run to Jane and Michael Banks' house for study group.
11:00 AM -12:45 PM: Discuss answers for questions from chapters and The Nuer. Frantically try to come up with answers because I can't remember anything from what I read this morning.
12:45 PM: Run to class. Okay, I know. Walk kind of fast to class. See hot guy run by in shorts. Yay!! Listen to Jane and Michael Banks talk on and on and on and on about self.
1PM -4PM: Class. Try to concentrate on group discussion about previously mentioned questions. Can only think of bladder because I drank a huge Diet Pepsi to make sure I was awake for class. Silently cheer because I was assigned two questions that I actually knew the answer too. Try to sound like I know what I am talking about. Fail miserably about trying to sound like I know what I am talking about.
4 PM: End of class. Walk home extra slow to avoid homework waiting at apartment. Instead of going inside, get into car and drive to Ghetto Mart. Meet homeless guy in parking lot. Walk really fast because he is coming to ask for money. Buy bag of Funions. Come home. Face homework.
4:30 - 5:30 PM: Read article about trophy heads in Peru. Learn lots about decapitating people and turning their skulls into ceremonial jewelry. Notify everyone on my blog that I am reading said article.
5:45 -7:00 PM: Work on essay summarizing said article and explaining why this article demonstrates the relationship between physical anthropology and archaeology. Visit people.com, dear abby, and gmail about 700 times.
7:00 -7:30 PM Receive call from Mom. Laugh about youtube video where bride falls into the pool. Look up videos of guys getting hit in the nuts, describe to mom over the phone, laugh. (Yup, my mom is an over sexed pervert, oh wait, that is me.)
7:30-10 PM Complete aforementioned essay. Interesting tidbit: among the skeletal remains they located an urn that depicted people getting their heads cut off and made into ceremonial necklaces of sorts. One of the pictures portrayed a Deity holding a recently decapitated head with the trachea still attached. Can you say Enrichment activity anyone? Sister Noel! What a beautiful necklace! Is that a real human skull? Why yes! We made them in Enrichment. You know Mormons. We are so crafty!
10:00- 10:30 PM Look at huge pile of books awaiting organization into presentation on origins of agriculture in Africa. Feel hopeless. Accept fact that I will be skipping class tomorrow to finish presentation. Start to read books. Realize this information contradicts information read at 6:30 AM. Mentally kick self for not starting presentation sooner. Decide that I am going to work hard and devote all my time to presentation.
10:30 PM: Give up on presentation. Decide my time is much better spent blogging about my day.
10:48 PM: Post Blog
10:49 PM: Look at stack of books about origins of agriculture. Gouged out eyes with a spoon. Make ceremonial necklace from my own skull.