Sunday, October 26, 2008

Potty Emergency!!!!

I seriously have dreams just like this about once a week.

Monday, October 20, 2008

A Day in the Life

6:30 -7:50 AM: Wake up and immediately start researching origins of agriculture in Africa. Read two chapters in various books about this subject. Panic because I need to have a 20 minute presentation on topic done by Wednesday and I haven't started yet.
8:00-10 AM: Read two chapters from my anthropological theory textbook. Fall asleep several times. Wipe drool from textbook. Highlight random stuff. Forget everything I just read.
10:30 AM: Get dressed and eat breakfast. Chew extra slowly so I don't have to go back to studying. Glance at my pants that only have one leg hemmed. Realize I will not be wearing said pants to class.
10:50 AM: Print off questions that I need to answer about aforementioned chapters and the book, The Nuer, for class today. Run to Jane and Michael Banks' house for study group.
11:00 AM -12:45 PM: Discuss answers for questions from chapters and The Nuer. Frantically try to come up with answers because I can't remember anything from what I read this morning.
12:45 PM: Run to class. Okay, I know. Walk kind of fast to class. See hot guy run by in shorts. Yay!! Listen to Jane and Michael Banks talk on and on and on and on about self.
1PM -4PM: Class. Try to concentrate on group discussion about previously mentioned questions. Can only think of bladder because I drank a huge Diet Pepsi to make sure I was awake for class. Silently cheer because I was assigned two questions that I actually knew the answer too. Try to sound like I know what I am talking about. Fail miserably about trying to sound like I know what I am talking about.
4 PM: End of class. Walk home extra slow to avoid homework waiting at apartment. Instead of going inside, get into car and drive to Ghetto Mart. Meet homeless guy in parking lot. Walk really fast because he is coming to ask for money. Buy bag of Funions. Come home. Face homework.
4:30 - 5:30 PM: Read article about trophy heads in Peru. Learn lots about decapitating people and turning their skulls into ceremonial jewelry. Notify everyone on my blog that I am reading said article.
5:45 -7:00 PM: Work on essay summarizing said article and explaining why this article demonstrates the relationship between physical anthropology and archaeology. Visit, dear abby, and gmail about 700 times.
7:00 -7:30 PM Receive call from Mom. Laugh about youtube video where bride falls into the pool. Look up videos of guys getting hit in the nuts, describe to mom over the phone, laugh. (Yup, my mom is an over sexed pervert, oh wait, that is me.)
7:30-10 PM Complete aforementioned essay. Interesting tidbit: among the skeletal remains they located an urn that depicted people getting their heads cut off and made into ceremonial necklaces of sorts. One of the pictures portrayed a Deity holding a recently decapitated head with the trachea still attached. Can you say Enrichment activity anyone? Sister Noel! What a beautiful necklace! Is that a real human skull? Why yes! We made them in Enrichment. You know Mormons. We are so crafty!
10:00- 10:30 PM Look at huge pile of books awaiting organization into presentation on origins of agriculture in Africa. Feel hopeless. Accept fact that I will be skipping class tomorrow to finish presentation. Start to read books. Realize this information contradicts information read at 6:30 AM. Mentally kick self for not starting presentation sooner. Decide that I am going to work hard and devote all my time to presentation.
10:30 PM: Give up on presentation. Decide my time is much better spent blogging about my day.
10:48 PM: Post Blog
10:49 PM: Look at stack of books about origins of agriculture. Gouged out eyes with a spoon. Make ceremonial necklace from my own skull.


I am currently reading “Dismembering Bodies for Display: A Bioarchaeological Study of Trophy Heads from the Wan Site of Conchopata, Peru.” Isn't anthropology cool?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Diet Coke

Dear Diet Coke,
I just can't quit you.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Highlights from Lab with Firedude

Firedude: "Whoa! This bone totally looks like Africa."
Me: giggle, giggle, bat eyelashes.

Firedude: "My hand hella hurts something hard."
Me: giggle, giggle, bat eyelashes.

Firedude: "This lab is sucking my a**."
Me: giggle, giggle, bat eyelashes.

Firedude: "Whoa! All my drawings look like cartoon bones. "
Me: giggle, giggle, bat eyelashes.

Firedude: "What is this?"
Me: "Australopithecus Africanus."
Firedude: "How do you spell ostalopy?"

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Dr. Sensitive Pony Tail Guy: What catastrophic event led to the demise of dinosaurs?
Girl on Front Row: Noah's Flood?

Sunday, October 12, 2008


I have been staring at the computer screen for 30 minutes trying to come up with an abstract for my paper. I have to accept that it may not happen. So, instead I started to blogstalk. About seven clicks in, I ended up on the page of a guy I went to school with. Wow. I now feel old, lame, and slacker-like. Where have the past 10 years gone? Did I actually say ten?

  1. High School Graduation!
  2. Internship in DC
  3. Westminster Freshman Year
  4. Deseret Book
  5. Westminster Sophomore Year
  6. England
  7. Westminster Junior Year
  8. Computer Lab
  9. Westminster Senior Year
  10. Huge Breakup
  11. China
  12. College Graduation!
  13. The Lending Group
  14. The Rental
  15. Mission - El Salvador
  16. Duplex
  17. CCHS
  18. Mt Pleasant
  19. Hunter's Woods
  20. Greenwood Ave
  21. New Zealand
  22. Mommy's Surgery
  23. Papa Jay's
  24. UoP
  25. Newton's basement
  26. Reno
  27. First Year UNR

Thursday, October 2, 2008


I can't believe that I have never discussed Dr. Sensitive Ponytail Man, my physical anthro professor. He reminds me of the kid in junior high who tried so hard to be cool and failed miserably. Oh wait, that kid in junior high was me. He constantly name drops all the famous anthropologists he knows. That is like going to the school dance and asking your date which Dungeons and Dragons character is her favorite. This is an intro course. Everyone is there because they didn't want to have to take Biology instead.

I think I am having a cultural issue with one of my roommates, whom I will refer to as Mulan. She leaves everything outside of her room in the common areas. For example, currently outside her door are 6 pairs of shoes, a vacuum, and a huge pile of newspapers. These are a permanent fixture. Not too annoying except for the fact that her door is right at the top of her stairs, so every time I leave my room I have to navigate around them. I just know one day I am going to trip and take a nose dive down the stairs. She also has random stuff all over the house. Like in the upstairs living room she has a computer chair, microwave, laundry bag full of something, and about 8 big boxes. Downstairs living room is filled with a stack of her papers from last year. I can understand if her room is full and she needs extra space, but that is not the case. HER ROOM IS EMPTY. You open the door and it is clean and spotless. So random. Anywho, that is not the purpose of this paragraph. The real reason I gave you all of this information is because she has added a new addition to the living room. Right between the sofa and chair is a basket full of . . . PANTIES. Yup. I have no idea why. I find this highly disturbing. I mean, I can handle the other stuff, but keeping your panties in the living room is just plain weird. How would you suggest I handle this?

"Hi Mulan! I noticed you are keeping your panties in the living room. I have no idea what else to say. That should be enough."

And what is she thinking? Hmm . . I have no idea where to keep my panties. The drawer? No. The closet, too obvious. I know! The living room. It is sooo perfect. Why didn't I think of this sooner?"

So my fellow bloggers, what should I do about the pantie situation?